Listen, I don’t pretend to be an expert…but I have lived in something like 8 countries. So I have some experience. Maybe I can help you keep your cool after your big move!

The first thing I think you need to be clear on is that it is going to be hard. You have to expect lonely times and tears. And way too much time in the supermarket. (Tell me I’m not the only one.) To help minimise the sads here are some things I have tried:

1. Join a group: a hiking group, a ukelele band, a model train club, book club, hash harriers – whatever you might be interested in. In Germany, I finally started to play my djembe. At clubs you have a shared interest and therefore something to talk about instantly. And built in potential drinking buddies! Try multiple groups at the same time. If you don’t love it, don’t go a second time.
   
2. Stalk social media. Look for groups in your new city, they will offer invaluable info about everything from best hairdressers for curly hair to which product works the same as baking soda in your new country. On Facebook, for example, you can search for: parents groups, groups from your home country, buy and sell exchanges….the list is endless. Instagram has loads of “local expert” groups for events and things to do. Do not limit yourself to Tinder!
   
3. Be brave! Take a deep breath and talk to people. Invite acquaintances for a coffee. You could make it a game to invite one person out every week. When I lived in Rome, I was a nanny. At school drop off, a teacher heard me speaking English and basically asked if we could hang out some time. A year later I went to her wedding.
   
4. Try to learn some of the language. Being able to discuss the weather in Thai got me great deals at the shops! Being able to have even a short conversation will make you feel like a lottery winner. In person classes will connect you with others who have just arrived and are in the same boat as you. One-on-one online lessons work faster but have less friendship opportunities. You choose what is best for you. I am still far from good, but I am improving!
   
5. Have kids? Use them. They will make friends quicker than you can, so make friends with your kids’ friends’ parents. Go to the playground and chat to people. If you have a routine around play time, you might notice the same faces. Say hi. (See point 3)
   
6. Say “yes” to everything. (Safely of course.) Practice with me:
   Angela, should we go to the beach tomorrow? Yes.
   Want to join us for dinner? Yes.
   Fancy skydiving next week? Not on your life – but I will come and watch you land!
   
7. Don’t expect things to be the same as home. The people are different. They might be an “on time” culture or a “be late” culture. They might be a “spontaneous meetup” or a “book a month in advance” culture. Food will be different – there will probably (definitely) not be Peanut Slabs. Never fear, you will find a replacement favourite thing – and your friends bring you treats from home. Hint hint.
   
8. Support local businesses. Nothing makes you feel like you are part of a community than a bar that knows your favourite drink, or a restauranter who says “hi” to you when you walk past.
   
   BUT most importantly:
   
9. Be gentle on yourself. You will oscillate between sad and overjoyed, overwhelmed and bored, scared and excited. Because it is life ya know! Go get it.

Want more?
My attempts to integrate in Bavaria…. How to blend-in in Bavaria.
Here is my list of my fav places to go in Munich. (Revised in 2023 due to Covid closures and changes.)
Click here to read about the Great German Road Trip.
Fancy Berlin? Here are some things I found bizarre when I lived there.